Thursday, May 3, 2018

Sad

I've been up all night.  I just can't get to sleep.  I have been knitting and listening to music and seem to only find sad songs.... 

I think I need to make an appointment with someone.  I feel depression creeping back in.

Why do I feel so down right now?  At first when I tried to figure it out I couldn't think of a reason but then I remembered...

A friend of mine just lost her spouse to cancer.  I'm really sad for her.  I've been thinking of how I would feel if I lost my husband.  I would be completely lost. 

I've also been having dreams about having a baby and every time something goes wrong and I wake up distressed.  My boys are grown and don't care much about me anymore.  I miss spending time with them.  I miss talking with them and getting more than one word answers.  I miss my babies.  I miss my toddlers.  I miss my little boys and I miss my teenagers.  I miss being needed.  I miss having a purpose.

Also, mother's day is really doing me in.  Every website had a mother's day promotion.  Every email has a mother's day theme.... but not everyone has a mother still on earth.


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