Getting back to blogging

It seems like so much has happened since I posted here.  I was kept pretty busy taking care of my elderly beagle Blue who was going down hill fast.  I loved her so much and had her so long that it was so hard to lose her.  I knew the time was coming but just hoped it wouldn't some how.  She was my shadow, always at my feet.  When I realized the time had come all I could do was go to my husband and cry and cry.  He knew.  He took care of everything for me because he knew I couldn't do THAT.  I still step over shadows in the hall thinking it is her laying there like she used to.  

This is a picture of her last attempted walk.  She didn't really walk much though.  She seemed lost and just stood there and stared out into space.  I let her over to the park where the spruce trees are.  She always loved sniffing and following the trails of the squirrels but she must have forgotten about them. 

She squatted to pee and there was blood in it because of the cancer.  It always bled when she had an infection and she got a lot of them.  This time though, the antibiotics didn't help her to feel better and didn't stop the bleeding.  I also had medicine to help shrink the tumor and keep down the inflammation but it wasn't helping anymore.  Going back to the house she couldn't remember how to go up the steps to get to the door.  She just stood there looking at the door and cried.  I had to carry her up.  

I knew the time was coming faster than I wanted it to.  

She started to cry one night after that and I gave her extra medicine and it only helped a little.  She was still very uncomfortable and I knew she was suffering. My husband called his brother and he came to visit with Blue.  Then, he drove my husband and my youngest son to the vet to let her go.  I stayed home and just cried.  I was so so hard watching them drive away.  I wanted so bad to make them stop and take her back but I knew that wasn't the best thing for her.  That is what I selfishly wanted - I wanted to keep my friend forever.  So I let her go.  

For several days after that I dreamed about her and then when I woke up I would think I needed to get up and take care of her.  Then as I remembered I would just lay there and cry.  My husband would put his arm around me. He is a really good man.  He bought me a new beagle puppy and even though he can't replace my Blue girl he does bring up my spirits.  He makes me smile when it was impossible before.  

This is Buddy.  That is the name he came with and it just seemed to suit him so we kept it.  He is so sweet and he loves the toy fox we got him with squeakers in both ends.  When he gets tired he will grab his fox and jump up on the couch beside me to go to sleep like in the picture.  Most of the pictures I have are of him sleeping because otherwise they come out blurry since he is always in motion.  

I am working on house-training him and teaching him not to bite us or our clothes.  We just took him for his first vet visit and our vet told us a lot of helpful information.  I'm also reading a lot online.  So far he is pretty good at sitting and sorta understands "lay down" but usually needs prompting at first.  

Below is a picture of Buddy with the bone I crocheted for him.  (You can find the pattern I used here.)

Okay, I'll post more later but for now I really should be sleeping while the baby is sleeping.  

-Donna

p.s. comments let me know people actually read what I write.  I'd love a few of those <3

Color Moods

Is it just me?

I seem to go through these periods of time where I just love one certain color or color combo and nothing else.  When I was really little I remember I decided I liked sky blue.  I remember getting made fun of in kindergarten because all the other girls like pink and purple and they said blue was a boy color.  I still remember talking to my mom because I was so upset.  I liked blue and only blue for a very long time.  When I was a teenager I started to like Royal blue and I remember I had this big royal blue velvet curtain that I had tacked up across the room to separate my room from the boy part of the room.  It became my little cave/sanctuary.  It wasn't until I was already into my 40's before I started to like different colors.  I went through a phase where I loved fuchsia.  I still do but my obsession petered out and I feel in love with lavender.  Then it became lavender and sage green.... and then this past year I added sky blue and cream to those colors. Slowly but surely, everything in my bedroom started to change to those colors.  My bedding is purple/lavender  and the other stuff in the room is a combo of lavender, blue, green and cream.  I even made a crochet throw in those colors.  I'm so glad I finally made something for myself.

Well, the last few months I've noticed I've been crazy about gray.  Mainly a light or medium toned gray.  I made a friend a baby blanket in gray and pink and I just loved it.  I bought some more of the gray yarn and some in sky blue and I'm going to alter the pattern to make a shawl for myself.  I have some pretty snowflakes someone made for me that I'm going to add to the two front corners.  The gray has a pretty pearl type thread in it and with the pale blue for the edging the snowflakes will be a perfect addition.  It will be like my "Frozen" shawl.  I do have to say that I've always liked snowflake themed things way before "Frozen".

Just last month I made a skull scarf for my sister in law in
gray and it turned out very cool also.  I just love that yarn I used for this.  It is Caron Simply Soft in Gray Heather and I had quite a stack of it.

It is happening already though...  I can feel it like I saw a full moon and can feel hair sprouting out of my face and hands.

I feel a green and white phase happening.  I am sitting here with a large tub full of all of my white/off white yarns and another full of all my greens.  Every time I see someone post something that is green/white I just fall in love with it.

I have a design I sketched out in my design journal where I was trying to remember a quilt I saw.  I loved the design but wasn't so thrilled with the colors they used.  It was all just small squares so I used graph paper to draw it out as close as I could remember.  Now I think I might use all this green and white/cream yarn and make a bazillion squares for it.  Hopefully it will come together looking just as amazing as it does in my imagination.

Happy Post Halloween

I'm so glad that Halloween is finally over.  I used to enjoy handing out candy to the cute little monsters that come to my house but since I've been feeling bad most of the time I have come to dread it.  We mostly get the really young kiddos here, especially since I never put up really scary things, and by 9 pm everyone is usually heading home.  I had a migraine today and ended up staying in bed all day.  I didn't even look to see if I recognized any cute little kids.  We usually get a few that come to say hi to me.  Son #2 stayed out in the living room and tried to get to the door before anyone knocked or rang the doorbell because our beagle Blue goes ballistic and barks like mad.  She is old and barks at the slightest sound now and it really scares the little kiddos so Son #1 keeps her shut up in his room until after 9 pm.

Speaking of Blue the crazy mad beagle monster, I think it is pretty ironic that I'm just randomly started Bones from the beginning again and just happened to get to episode 5 of Season 3 on Halloween Night, and it is a Halloween episode.  This song was on that episode and I actually recognize it.  I think it was on a Halloween CD I bought for the boys when they were young and still cute.

Anyway, after a while I decided to get my butt up and make something for everyone to eat but I couldn't stand to walk on my feet.  I decided to try what the doctor suggested sort of...  she isn't very clear really and makes me feel like a kindergartner again back in school getting snarked at by the teachers who didn't want to bother paying attention.  This doctor is very snarky and I don't like her much.  I have to go in at regular intervals to get my meds refilled and I tell her how I've been doing (which is always bad) and she just blows it off as nothing.  She looks in all the holes in my head and listens to me breathe and writes down that I am stable or improving.  Anyway, I've been complaining about this pain in my feet for a long time.  She always just told me to walk more even though I told her it hurt to much to walk. Finally, the last time I saw her she said to get some tennis shoes with arch support.  My husband was there that time and told her I rarely go outside so I never really wear shoes. She had no reply so that was it. Well today I decided to pull out a pair of tennis shoes I used to wear and clean them up to wear inside only.  I put gel insoles with arch supports in them (which I robbed from my boots) and I've been wearing them for a few hours.  I made another quiche and it seems they do help.  I was able to make the whole thing and clean up without having to ask for help.  I am pretty excited that this is helping because I'm really tired of being stuck sitting down. Being able to be on my feet more will also allow me to get more exercise.  I'll start on that tomorrow.  For now, my dog is very happy to see me so I need to go spend some time with her.

Here is a song from Episode 1 of Bones Season 3

I like this song.  Now that I have these shoes that help my feet I want to get up and do things. I may not be able to "see the world" but being able to do anything makes me feel better.

A Red sweater for a dog named Blue

“Dogs are our link to paradise. 

They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. 

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be 

back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.” 

― Milan Kundera

I am happy to say Blue seems to be doing a lot better.  She has her spunk back.  The antibiotics and the anti-inflammatory meds are helping a lot.  She is not peeing blood now and she has been eating and drinking again. When my husband comes home she does her little dance for him to give her a treat like she used to.  Everyone is so happy to see her happy again.

I have been playing phone tag with the vet. I've been having some bad pain days.  It has been snowing so I usually have flare ups when the weather changes.  Anyway, since I haven't been getting out of bed until after 3 or 4 pm I've been missing her calls.  I call her back and then miss her return call.  She finally said on the message the the pathologist isn't convinced that the tumor is a Transitional Cell Carcinoma (TCC).  It could be a connective tissue tumor or just a large mass of inflammation.  Whatever it is, she definitely feels a lot better.  She has arthritis in her back legs and usually has trouble going up the two steps to the back door or hopping up on the furniture (which is not allowed unless I'm not looking).  She had a different med she was taking but they had me switch to a stronger one to help bring down the inflammation in her bladder and now she is skipping around like she's a puppy again.  She's my 13 year old puppy.

Anyway, I have been working on a sweater for her since I know the temperature could drop any time. We have some snow but it hasn't been too cold for her yet.  I had to alter the pattern because she has Cushing's Disease so her belly is big like a pot bellied pig.   Most dogs are bigger in the chest and then get smaller around the belly but she is one inch large in the belly than her chest measurement and she also has some swelling that the vet said should get better over the next little while.

I found a pattern on Craftsy.com by Copper Llama Studio that looks like it would be easier to alter. I'm pretty new at trying to alter a pattern.  I took a lot of measurements and with some tips from a friend I was able to make this sweater to fit Blue.  I made it in bright red just in case she had a job interview to go to.

I added some extra stitches onto one side of the belly section to make a flap with button holes so it can wrap around her tender belly and fasten with buttons to the back.  That makes is so much easier to get it on her without hurting her.  It is a little snug on her around the middle but the vet said her belly will start to be smaller as she get her meds.  I also made the neck piece a little too big so I'll probably fix that later. It looks like a stylish cowl neckline lol  It is more important that she be warm than stylish.  Now I need to get busy and sew her some new booties so she wont get frost bite on her feet.  

Distraction Tactic

I'm trying not to worry about my dog Blue so I'm went back to watching Season 2 of Bones and listening for more good music.  This series has a lot of music that I love and have never heard of before.

This song was on Episode 3 and it really tied in well with the story line. Well, at least some of the phrases did.  It is about a young girl who is a foster child, her boyfriend from a well-off family is found dead and people are quick to blame her because she is in the foster system.  Of course one common phase used when talking about foster children is "fell through the cracks" and this song uses the line "I fell through the cracks at the end of our street."  I especially like how Temperance connects with foster kids.  It may not be as cut and dry as they make it seem but it still gives me more perspective than I had before.

I've heard this song before by Sarah McLachlan and she is actually featured on this track.  Listen closely and you can hear her singing harmony.  I really like this version better.  It is so tender.

Bring On The Wonder by Susan Enan 

 

Episode 4 used a very small portion of this song at the very end.  I'm glad I looked it up so I could hear the whole thing.  Brennan shot and killed a serial killer that was attacking Booth and even though she knows she did the right thing it still bothers her that she took a life.  She killed someone and that matters.  That is one thing I really like about this show.  It may be all about death but it is about justice and finding the truth, even if that isn't the easiest thing.  It isn't about revenge and senseless killing.

It don't matter to the sun by Rosie Thomas

This song is from Episode 7 and another one that they just used a small part at the end
 -
Mona Lisa by Grant-Lee Phillips

 

Sad day

My beagle, Blue, is doing a little better.  The antibiotics are helping fast and she has been getting a lot of rest.  Yesterday it was like the back door was a revolving door.  She was constantly going out.  We both slept all night and most of the day without her going out much at all.  She hasn't been drinking much either.  She did want food today though and I was glad to see her eat.  I gave her the anti-inflammatory medicine this morning and I noticed she wasn't passing as much blood when she peed. I'm just so worried about her though.  I've been watching her and snuggling with her all day.  I just can't imagine her not being around here with me...... at my feet all the time.  

I'm still waiting to hear from the doctor if they were able to figure out what type of tumor it is.  They sent her scant urine sample off to a pathologist to see if they can find some tumor cells mixed in with all the bacteria and white cells.  The vet thinks it is transitional cell carcinoma.  The tumor is not blocking her urine output so that is good.  

I wish I could just make it all go away.

Sad songs and my dog Blue

Blue at the vet with Son #2

I'm so sad right now.  My sweetest companion, my beagle Blue, is not doing well.  I was up all night with her (Monday night) letting her out every hour and sometimes every 5 minutes.  She threw up her dinner and I just wasn't sure what was wrong or what to do.  In the morning I was so exhausted I would let her out, hooking her up on her chain, and then I'd lay back down and drift off for a few minutes until she scratched to come back in.  Sometimes she would just look at me and then turn around and go back to pee again.  I knew it was strange that she hadn't wanted to eat or drink anything and I was very worried.  A little later when I woke up I noticed by the back door there was blood with some dark, pea sized clots on the kitchen floor where she had peed.  I went outside and looked around and since there is a little snow I could see a few spots where she had peed and it was tinted with blood and one spot I could see dribbled blood.  I called the vet right away and took her in.  She has a nasty bladder infection but also a large tumor in her bladder. They caught a small sample of urine and they are going to try to find some tumor cells and hopefully can determine what type it is.  They gave us some antibiotics for her and an anti inflammatory so that should make her feel better at least.   I am so worried for her.  She is pretty old for a beagle too.  She'll be 14 in February.

On another note,

I watched the pilot episode for season 2 of Bones (again, yes, again) and this song, Be here now by Ray LaMontagne,  caught my attention.  Here is a video tribute to my favorite Spartan warrior that just happens to feature that song. You really have to pay attention and listen to the lyrics because it is so quiet.

It is so sad that he passed away.  So many talented people die much too soon.
There are too many angels and some have four legs.

Here is another song from that episode called The Greatest by Cat Power. I love her voice.

Some goodies I've gotten recently

You know how on Amazon.com you can have a wish list? I have a few things on there that I've been drooling over for a long time. Now I have managed to get two of the things on there this year. I'm so spoiled loved. The first thing was my sewing machine. I had a sewing machine that was too difficult for me to figure out. I wanted something with a button that says "sew" or better yet voice activated. Whenever I feel like I can use my sewing machine I know I don't have much time before I get tired or start having pain and by the time I would get the bobbin thing opened up, the lint cleaned off of it, and new bobbin loaded and inserted into the alien looking piece of metal half circle and the thread pulled up to the top I would be exhausted and needing a nap and a pain pill. I needed something way more user friendly. I looked at several sewing machines online and thought I knew what I wanted and I knew they had the one I wanted to get here locally but when I went in there they didn't have it anymore. After I explained what I was looking for she showed me a Brother machine and I fell in love with it right away. It was better than the one I went in there looking for and it was cheaper too. My husband got it for me for an anniversary present which was September 1st. It was our 23rd anniversary! Of course I've been feeling bad ever since I got it and I haven't been able to check it out yet but it is there ready for me when I'm ready.

It is a Simplicity SB2139 and it isn't available online which is why I didn't see it.  This is only available through local brother dealers.  It came with a free pattern, which is not my size but oh well, and also comes with the sewing table thing that gives you extra sewing surface.

The other thing that has been at the top of my Amazon list is this set of Rose Tulip Etimo crochet hooks.  I wanted them so bad I could taste it (tastes just like chocolate, really).  I noticed they went on sale and mentioned it to my husband and he bought them for me.  I love them too.  They are so comfortable to use and the case is so pretty!  I never was a "girly girl" that liked pink until I turned 40.  Not sure what has happened to me.  It must be the hormones or something.

The CD I got is great too.  It is an import.  The band is called Feeder and the album is Pushing the Senses.  I first heard one of the songs from the album on the first season of Bones, which I just started watching again.  The song is called "Pain on Pain" but I really like all the songs on this album.

So anyway, I've been listening to my new music and crocheting away.  I also bought a few other songs that I heard on Bones on itunes.  For some reason that album above is not available to download which is so barbaric!  It has been so long since I had to buy a CD and wait for it to come in the mail to listen to it.  I could have recorded it off the radio onto a tape by then but of course they don't play good music on the radio anymore. Anywho, there really are some great music in that series.

I am also making a sweater for my sweet beagle Blue. She is getting pretty old and arthritic and it gets pretty cold here in the winter. She has some health problems that make her belly distended so I'm adjusting the pattern to fit her. I hope she likes it.

It is a pretty, sunny day outside today and I'm hoping to get out in it since I'm feeling a little better.  I think I need a new fish in my fish tank and want to make a trip to Petco.