Is there such a thing as happy pain?

Yes!

I am laying down right now with ice on both feet and shoulders.  Trying to rest.

I've been in so much pain for so long now.  The pain keeps me from being able to do anything.  I can't lose weight because it hurts so bad to exercise.  Over the years it's only gotten worse.  Then in early January this year I found a new doctor.  I just felt that he was going to be able to help me some how. I think maybe because he seemed like he wanted to.  He seemed to care.  Maybe he is a younger doctor who isn't burnt out yet.  My last doctor knew I had fibromyalgia so she just said every problem I had was that and she didn't try to figure it out or if it could be something else that is treatable.  I had horrible pain in my left shoulder that was also starting to affect the left side of my neck.  It was so bad I didn't want to move.  Exercise made it worse.  The new doctor examined my shoulder and referred me to a doctor that does myofascial release therapy.

I went to the first appointment feeling a little apprehensive.  They told me it really hurts but that it would probably help in the long run.  It did really hurt.  I almost passed out the first time.  I had some bruising on my shoulder where they worked and was told to ice it and drink a lot of water.  It took longer than I expected to heal but when it did my shoulder was so much better - amazingly better. They worked on my neck pain and it was gone before I left the office.  They said that was a triggerband and I also had many triggerpoints.  The triggerpoints are herniated fascia so there is an opening and some tissue is pushing through and getting strangulated.  That is what is causing the pain.  The triggerbands, from what I understand, are a twisted muscle.  I went back today and they worked on more areas.  The doctor had a student with her and I really liked him.  He was answering my questions.  Some doctors don't want to answer my questions or give really vague answers meant to appease someone who they think can't understand.  I like to look things up on the internet afterwards and learn more about what they are doing so I want some real answers.

This time I told them about the pain in my feet.  I have been having pain in my feet for so long.  It hurts to walk or stand for very long.  I want to get out when I can and exercise so I can lose weight. During the summer I want to walk but last summer it just hurt too much.  Every step I took was painful.  I noticed the pain got worse with each consecutive day that I walked until I just couldn't do it anymore.  None of the doctor's I'd seen knew what was wrong.  The Rheumatologist x-rayed my feet and hands but didn't see anything.  Other doctors said it was probably planter fasciitis and that exercise and stretches would help it.  I already knew exercise did not help it and the stretches did nothing.  Plus, I looked it up on the internet and the pain from that is usually on the bottom of the feet or the back of the heal.  My pain is on the top and outer sides of my feet.  These new doctors worked over my feet and they knew exactly what I was talking about.  I could tell before I left that they had already helped.  Now I just have to wait for the soreness to go away to see how much it really helped. I am very optimistic.

I am laying here looking at the sunshine streaming through my window and thinking about summer. It is spring and the snow is melting.  I can't wait to see green grass and flowers in my yard.

This year is the first time in many years that I've been excited about summer.

-D

Bones and some of the music I loved from the first season

I don't watch very much TV and usually when I do it has something to do with music.  I like to watch American Idol & The Voice.  I also like mysteries and Crime/law type shows but I usually do more reading in that genre than watching TV.  My husband is a HUGE TV watcher and I think he will watch anything.  I just can't do it.  There has been a few times when I found something I really liked and stayed up all night watching a whole season or 3 but for the most part I never even turn it on.  I listen to music and crochet.

Sometimes though, when I'm laying on my side trying to go to sleep while someone is being shot or maimed on Netflix, I'll end up hearing a song I like from the show he is watching.  I always try my hardest to remember so I can look it up later.  Every once and a while he watches something good like Bones.  He is way ahead of me and I couldn't remember all the shows I watched so I started back at the beginning.  Anyway, I noticed I was hearing a lot of music I really liked and sometimes I actually had to get up and write it down because I didn't want to risk totally forgetting about it.  Here are some of them.

From the Pilot Episode
Of course I already had this song.

I can't leave out this one even though I already posted about it last time.
I bought this whole album.

This is a good song that I already had - from Episode 2.  

From Episode 5

There was a lot of music in Episode 6 but mostly rap which I can't stand. This was the only decent one.  I mostly like the music and the soothing voice.

Episode 9 had Christmas songs and it is just a little early for that. I think I already have them in my itunes or own the CD too so they were not bad. I'm still in denial about the snow that is on the ground outside so I'll wait on those Christmas songs. 

 Goldfrapp from episode 10: I've always liked this song for some reason.  I actually think my friend Rebekah has that same outfit.  

This sad song is from Episode 12.  I'm glad to know that I'm not on my own.

This song from episode 13 makes me which I knew Spanish.

Episode 14 had some great songs that I already loved.

And this song I'd never heard before.

Episode 16: This was the best song from the season and the one I had to get out of bed to go download. 

 

Episode 17: This is a song that really touched my heart. This is how I feel every day dealing with Fibromyalgia and all the other problems that go along with it.  It is sad without being hopeless.  I am not hopeless.  As long as I have God I have hope.

  "Strange how hard it rains now, rows and rows of big dark clouds.  But I'm holding on underneath this shroud.  Rain, rain, rain"
"I'm still alive underneath this shroud"

 

Here is another one that I liked from Episode 18  

Whistles the wind, blowing my way 

Sweeping me back, back here to stay 

Can winners be losers running on the same track? 

Some head for glory, others refresh 

 Well it breaks my heart to see you this way 

The beauty in life, where's it gone? 

And somebody told me, you were doing okay 

Somehow I guess they were wrong 

 My isolation, now there's a sobering thought 

A minute alone, a lifetime too long 

See the face in this mirror, so pale it could crack 

Desperately wanting the color it lacks

 So you drank with the lost souls for too many years 

Time to be right cause they'll cripple with fear 

Never been righteous, though seldom we're wrong 

Life's only life with you in this song 

 Now there's an ocean between us 

Where I am and where I want to be 

So you prayers in doubt, doubt not for me 

 Oh you'll find your way out, but there's no going now 

Every woman and child drags you down for the dive 

It's not safe being free, can't give back what you feel 

You said you'll always be in heaven with me

From Episode 20