Happy Post Halloween

I'm so glad that Halloween is finally over.  I used to enjoy handing out candy to the cute little monsters that come to my house but since I've been feeling bad most of the time I have come to dread it.  We mostly get the really young kiddos here, especially since I never put up really scary things, and by 9 pm everyone is usually heading home.  I had a migraine today and ended up staying in bed all day.  I didn't even look to see if I recognized any cute little kids.  We usually get a few that come to say hi to me.  Son #2 stayed out in the living room and tried to get to the door before anyone knocked or rang the doorbell because our beagle Blue goes ballistic and barks like mad.  She is old and barks at the slightest sound now and it really scares the little kiddos so Son #1 keeps her shut up in his room until after 9 pm.

Speaking of Blue the crazy mad beagle monster, I think it is pretty ironic that I'm just randomly started Bones from the beginning again and just happened to get to episode 5 of Season 3 on Halloween Night, and it is a Halloween episode.  This song was on that episode and I actually recognize it.  I think it was on a Halloween CD I bought for the boys when they were young and still cute.

Anyway, after a while I decided to get my butt up and make something for everyone to eat but I couldn't stand to walk on my feet.  I decided to try what the doctor suggested sort of...  she isn't very clear really and makes me feel like a kindergartner again back in school getting snarked at by the teachers who didn't want to bother paying attention.  This doctor is very snarky and I don't like her much.  I have to go in at regular intervals to get my meds refilled and I tell her how I've been doing (which is always bad) and she just blows it off as nothing.  She looks in all the holes in my head and listens to me breathe and writes down that I am stable or improving.  Anyway, I've been complaining about this pain in my feet for a long time.  She always just told me to walk more even though I told her it hurt to much to walk. Finally, the last time I saw her she said to get some tennis shoes with arch support.  My husband was there that time and told her I rarely go outside so I never really wear shoes. She had no reply so that was it. Well today I decided to pull out a pair of tennis shoes I used to wear and clean them up to wear inside only.  I put gel insoles with arch supports in them (which I robbed from my boots) and I've been wearing them for a few hours.  I made another quiche and it seems they do help.  I was able to make the whole thing and clean up without having to ask for help.  I am pretty excited that this is helping because I'm really tired of being stuck sitting down. Being able to be on my feet more will also allow me to get more exercise.  I'll start on that tomorrow.  For now, my dog is very happy to see me so I need to go spend some time with her.

Here is a song from Episode 1 of Bones Season 3

I like this song.  Now that I have these shoes that help my feet I want to get up and do things. I may not be able to "see the world" but being able to do anything makes me feel better.

You

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children. -Jessica Lange 

This is a beautiful song.  It was on Bones Season 2 episode 16.  I know I have at least one other song by this singer but I can't believe I've never heard this one before now.  It is about a baby and it is so touching.  I remember feeling like this when my boys were little and still do now that they are young men.... only know they know.  I used to take care of them but now my boys take care of me.  When I am in pain and can't get out of bed they make sure I have eaten or drink enough water.  They check on me like I used to check on them.  They are my life and will always be.

This song from Episode 17 is very sad.  It makes me think back to those times when I held my babies and the times I listened to them giggle, the times I cleaned up skinned knees or read bedtime stories.  Later, as they grew I admired them for their thinking and ability to do things for themselves.  Now that they are pretty much grown I know that eventually they will leave home and I'll be alone again.  Of course, I do have my husband but my heart will always long for my boys.  Right now I have a special bond with my youngest son, Son #2 who is 17.  He is a night owl like I am and sometimes when he can't sleep he will come out here and talk to me for hours.  He tells me about things that happened in school, things he learned, things he saw online and found funny, sad or interesting.  I love that boy so much.  He is very much like his dad and also looks like him. He is also like my younger brother though and he always makes me laugh.  

I just hope that when my boys leave home that they will always come back.