Ups and downs

I'm still waiting for the ups but I'm sure they are coming.

I had a very bad flare up about a week ago when we had snow one day and then it rained the next.  I can't even remember what day that was now.  I was in so much pain I couldn't get out of bed and I couldn't even read or focus on anything.  It was bad.  Well, usually I just have to wait it out and when the flare up is over I start to feel better.  This time that didn't happen.  I kept having pain all over in my joins and also migraine headaches.  The last headache may not have been a true migraine and it just wouldn't let up.  I had that one for 3 days straight with no relief from meds.  I finally talked to my Rheumatologist and he prescribed some new meds - a steroid to get things under control and then a med that is used for RA (methotrexate) along with a folic acid supplement.

I started them yesterday.  I started the steroid pack first and after half a day my headache faded away to nothing.  I am so so glad.  I'm still really achy all over but so relieved to be headache free.  I really hope this new drug helps and that I don't have any bad side effects from it.

I really want to read or knit but I just can't.  I also don't have the patience I need to spend with my 6 month old beagle puppy.  We have a fence thing that makes a circle to keep him in that is in the living room.  I have been trying to let him out more and opening the fence to make a wall to block off areas I don't want him to go.  He gets very hyper at times and he wants to chew on everything but he has to learn.  It just takes a lot of energy because he is always getting into things or chewing on something he shouldn't.  I got him a bed and I've been trying to teach him to go lay down on his bed like my other beagle did.  She understood when I said that and would go lay down. I just can't do it right now though.  I don't have the patience and get too frustrated.  He really is like a toddler who gets out of control and fussy when he's tired and fights sleep.  Sometime I just have to stick him in his crate to get him to take a nap when he's like that.  I would just rather he learn to lay down on his bed or anywhere and take a nap.

Today Buddy will have play in his "cage."  The temperature has obviously dropped outside and I can feel the chill in the house.  I am still waiting for the house to warm up.  I think I am going to stay in my pajamas today and lounge in bed under the covers and hope for my brain to come back so I can at least read some.

Beautiful pain

How can something so beautiful cause so much pain?

I look outside and I see the most beautiful fall colored carpet surrounding the trees. It is almost as if the trees are dancers dressed for a autumnal ball in golden, russet, amber and scarlet gowns flowing in gleaming satin circles around them. The men, standing straight and tall in their evergreen suits and matching pocket squares, guiding them around the room in elegant patterns. Then, as if the scene wasn't glorious enough, large flakes of snow catch the light as it ever-so-slowly drifts to the ground like feathers from angel's wings.  Can you see it too?

I woke up in the most pain I've had in a long time. After the snow melted it started to rain and that is when my pain shot through the roof. The doctor's would ask me what number I'd give it on a scale of 1-10. The numbers all start to blur together at some point and I can't even think straight to think about it. I do know though, that it is the most beautiful pain. Who knew, changing weather could do that?

I've been trying to do things this week but I can't. I can't think. I can't read. I can't do any of the things I like to do. It is so strange for me to go a whole week without cracking open a book or 3. I also have a knitting project I'm anxious to work on but it is a challenging one and I'm so afraid to mess it up. I started to watch this week's episodes of The Voice on Hulu but I couldn't focus on it. I keep spacing out so I decided to watch it later. Now I'm watching some old episodes of Bones, which I love.

The days of this week have all gotten muddled together and I have spent a lot of time sleeping or snuggled deep in a pile of blankets. Music helps. Sometimes I like slow, sad music and other times I need angry, rock music.

I'm just glad that this will pass and the pain will decrease to more tolerable levels again. Then, I'll be back to "I CAN" and I will.

Rainy Day

I've been so achy today and didn't get out of bed till late.  I did drag myself up though (with the help of my friend Excedrin Extra Strength) and I'm working on a crochet project while Buddy is busy with a rawhide bone.  Buddy the Beagle Baby doesn't like to go out to go to the bathroom when it's wet out so I've been cleaning up accidents today.  He does have good days though and he let me know he needed to go outside once for the previous 2 days in a row.  I'm pretty sure he is teething now so there are bound to be accidents during that time.  I guess it is a good thing he is so cute!  My main goal is keeping him away from my crochet project which has a lot of work into it.

Anyway, I'm hoping for a good day tomorrow.  I'm planning to cook some salmon that my son and his friend got in Valdez, Alaska.  I'm going to try this recipe for Asian Salmon in Foil.

There is a perfect time for everything

Buddy is 3 months old now and managed to survive a shot and micro-chipping. 

The vet also gave us some great advice on training a puppy.  

Currently Reading: The Wake-Up Call of the Wild

I remember, a long time ago at the Tanana Valley Fair, I was walking though the big building with all the art and poetry exhibits and booths for everything imaginable.  I was mostly saying, "No thanks.......sorry, not interested" (not interested in filling out a slip for a drawing so you can call me and pester me about buying what you sell later).  Anyway, I walked by this table where a "nice" looking woman sat with some books.  I always stop when I see books.  One of the books said something about chocolate on the back so I decided to get that one.  The woman was the author, Nita Nettleton, and she was this instantly likable person that somehow felt more REAL than most people. I chatted with her a bit and then she signed my book.  She spelled out my full name and then wrote "I hope you enjoy this story - (never strand yourself without enough chocolate!) and then signed it and left her email address.  hmmmm I wonder if it is still a good email for her.  This book isn't that long but I've found myself savoring it.... just like I used to do with life-savers when I was a kid and chocolate now that I'm older.  I read a section and then I like to stop and think about it for a bit, imagining myself in her place.

This is a book about a woman that wakes up bruised and battered with a bandage around her head at a remote cabin in Alaska.  She doesn't remember anything, not her name or how she came to be out in the middle of Nowhere, Alaska.  But, she does find an unlikely friend in a young female badger and realizes she likes being there and spending time with her own thoughts.  

I can't tell you more than that because I'm still reading.  I'll probably be done with it tomorrow.

I've been feeling better since sometime yesterday.  I made myself a hair appointment for yesterday

afternoon and really hoped I would feel better by then.  I just had a two week long horrible fibro flare up that left me so tired I couldn't get out of bed most of the time.  I had decided to lose a ton of hair weight if I could get my butt out of bed to get there.  It has been WAY too hot for long, thick hair. I looked through tons of pictures and printed out a handful of similar cuts but wasn't totally feeling any of them. I decided to show them all to my stylist and let her work her magic.  I've also been wanting to get some highlights in my hair in this electric purple color that reminds me of the innards of a blueberry.  I just needed to make sure my husband didn't freak about the cost of it so I only scheduled for a haircut.  On the way I mentioned the color to him and after I was sitting in the chair he texted me a "go ahead" message.  I was surprised when she said she could do it AND she looked totally thrilled to do it too.  I guess she doesn't get to use that color much.

It was so liberating to watch the chunks of hair fall to the floor.  This other lady came up and was sitting close to me waiting her turn for a haircut while the stylist was painting my head purple. She looked familiar but I couldn't place her. I talk to everyone though so that was okay.  I was just startled when she suddenly said my name.  I realized it was a friend of ours and I just hadn't seen her in a long time.  I haven't seen anyone in a long time unless they live with me actually. Well, she usually has really short hair so seeing her with shoulder length hair was really strange and I'm sure that is why I couldn't place her.  It was really good to talk to other people for a change and it was so fun getting my hair done. Since I was sitting there for quite a while steeping in purple I talked to everyone who came in for a haircut.  It was a good day for me.

I was really tired today (Wednesday) so I took a nice long nap but so far not having bad pain.  I'm so glad since I really needed a break from that for a while.  I really enjoyed reading outside in my chair parked in the sunshine this afternoon while Buddy played in the shade.  It is such a beautiful summer day!  I just love the days when I can get out and enjoy the beauty of my world and warmth of the sunshine.  Life is good and I'm loving my Buddy Boy!

Buddy sleeping by me on the couch

Happy birthday to you the dog got sick on your shoe

It wasn't my birthday.  My youngest son turned 18 on the 19th of January.  So that means it is official now.  I am old.  I've been looking at lots and lots of pictures of him (I always do this when one of my boys has a birthday) and I feel like I've had an army of kids.  They change so much at each stage of their lives and I always think I really miss when they were a baby or when they were 2 or 4.  They were both very special at different ages and I feel sad when the stage is over and that child is gone. There was always a new wonderful older child in their place that I enjoyed getting to know.  They both have such wonderful personalities.  Now that they are both grown I miss all of those children they used to be.  It makes me sad but now I have these two young men that I love and I am proud to call my sons.

Made it through the fire

I had a horrible.... really terrible horrible no good (3) days.  It was a fibro flare up that had me begging for mercy.  It finally let up and even though I'm still achy the worst of that pain has lifted. I hardly slept for that time or slept poorly but I finally crashed and slept hard for a long, long time.  I woke up feeling so much better.  

I have been up cleaning in my kitchen and cooking the best snickerdoodles EVER!  I love snickerdoodles and anything cinnamon.  I used this recipe here.  I wasn't as happy with the first batch because my son yanked them out of the oven as soon as the timer went off and they really needed another minute or two.  They were just too doughy inside for me.  I just cooked another batch (since the kid is at school now) and this time I put a sheet of parchment on a tray and sprinkled it with a little of the cinnamon-sugar.  I put the cookies on that and then sprinkled them with some more sugar and then put them in the fridge to chill.  It coated the cookies so much easier than the first batch that were cold already.  I cooked these cookies 10 to 11 minutes (the tray on the bottom took a minute longer) but they are oh so very tasty!

Scratch & Sniff