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The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children. -Jessica Lange 

This is a beautiful song.  It was on Bones Season 2 episode 16.  I know I have at least one other song by this singer but I can't believe I've never heard this one before now.  It is about a baby and it is so touching.  I remember feeling like this when my boys were little and still do now that they are young men.... only know they know.  I used to take care of them but now my boys take care of me.  When I am in pain and can't get out of bed they make sure I have eaten or drink enough water.  They check on me like I used to check on them.  They are my life and will always be.

This song from Episode 17 is very sad.  It makes me think back to those times when I held my babies and the times I listened to them giggle, the times I cleaned up skinned knees or read bedtime stories.  Later, as they grew I admired them for their thinking and ability to do things for themselves.  Now that they are pretty much grown I know that eventually they will leave home and I'll be alone again.  Of course, I do have my husband but my heart will always long for my boys.  Right now I have a special bond with my youngest son, Son #2 who is 17.  He is a night owl like I am and sometimes when he can't sleep he will come out here and talk to me for hours.  He tells me about things that happened in school, things he learned, things he saw online and found funny, sad or interesting.  I love that boy so much.  He is very much like his dad and also looks like him. He is also like my younger brother though and he always makes me laugh.  

I just hope that when my boys leave home that they will always come back.  

 

A Red sweater for a dog named Blue

“Dogs are our link to paradise. 

They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. 

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be 

back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.” 

― Milan Kundera

I am happy to say Blue seems to be doing a lot better.  She has her spunk back.  The antibiotics and the anti-inflammatory meds are helping a lot.  She is not peeing blood now and she has been eating and drinking again. When my husband comes home she does her little dance for him to give her a treat like she used to.  Everyone is so happy to see her happy again.

I have been playing phone tag with the vet. I've been having some bad pain days.  It has been snowing so I usually have flare ups when the weather changes.  Anyway, since I haven't been getting out of bed until after 3 or 4 pm I've been missing her calls.  I call her back and then miss her return call.  She finally said on the message the the pathologist isn't convinced that the tumor is a Transitional Cell Carcinoma (TCC).  It could be a connective tissue tumor or just a large mass of inflammation.  Whatever it is, she definitely feels a lot better.  She has arthritis in her back legs and usually has trouble going up the two steps to the back door or hopping up on the furniture (which is not allowed unless I'm not looking).  She had a different med she was taking but they had me switch to a stronger one to help bring down the inflammation in her bladder and now she is skipping around like she's a puppy again.  She's my 13 year old puppy.

Anyway, I have been working on a sweater for her since I know the temperature could drop any time. We have some snow but it hasn't been too cold for her yet.  I had to alter the pattern because she has Cushing's Disease so her belly is big like a pot bellied pig.   Most dogs are bigger in the chest and then get smaller around the belly but she is one inch large in the belly than her chest measurement and she also has some swelling that the vet said should get better over the next little while.

I found a pattern on Craftsy.com by Copper Llama Studio that looks like it would be easier to alter. I'm pretty new at trying to alter a pattern.  I took a lot of measurements and with some tips from a friend I was able to make this sweater to fit Blue.  I made it in bright red just in case she had a job interview to go to.

I added some extra stitches onto one side of the belly section to make a flap with button holes so it can wrap around her tender belly and fasten with buttons to the back.  That makes is so much easier to get it on her without hurting her.  It is a little snug on her around the middle but the vet said her belly will start to be smaller as she get her meds.  I also made the neck piece a little too big so I'll probably fix that later. It looks like a stylish cowl neckline lol  It is more important that she be warm than stylish.  Now I need to get busy and sew her some new booties so she wont get frost bite on her feet.