Lots of Rain and Pain

Currently Reading

I haven't been feeling so hot so for several days I've been unable to do much.  I've been trying to read a book but just keep reading the same lines over and over.  I'm in a reading group on paperbackswap.com where we pick a book that has been on our TBR list the longest and get it read.  I chose At Home in Mitford by Jan Karon.  I really have no idea why it has taken me so long to read it.  I was having such a hard time focusing that I tried listening to the audiobook but I keep spacing out.  When that happens I just have to quit trying and get some rest or I just stare into outer space for a while and gather some wool. 

I did manage to sneak out to get my hair done but I nearly slept through it.  My appointment was at 4:15 pm but I was still sleeping when my husband came home at 4 pm.  He woke me up and I quickly jumped up and got dressed.  I splashed water on my face and did the minimum required things and ran out the door... went back to get my glasses and then was off.  I sat there and zoned out while my hair stylist made me look beautiful.  She has special powers and always makes me feel better by the time I leave her presence. 

I am hoping it will stop raining soon.  Well, it isn't raining all the time and we have been having some beautiful sunshiny days but if it rains in the afternoon or evening my Fibromyalgia and/or Psoriatic Arthritis flares up.  Even if it doesn't rain right where I live but is raining in the distance I will flare up.  My muscles in my left shoulder get real tight and painful and I got this area that feels like a tight, knotted up muscle behind my shoulder blade where I can't reach.  I have to take a muscle relaxer which puts me to sleep for most of the day and that helps but then it rains again and it comes right back.  I just keep listening to Boxcar Willie singing You are my Sunshine and hoping for nothing but sunshine.  That's one of my all time favorite songs. 

~DJ

There is a perfect time for everything

Buddy is 3 months old now and managed to survive a shot and micro-chipping. 

The vet also gave us some great advice on training a puppy.  

Currently Reading: The Wake-Up Call of the Wild

I remember, a long time ago at the Tanana Valley Fair, I was walking though the big building with all the art and poetry exhibits and booths for everything imaginable.  I was mostly saying, "No thanks.......sorry, not interested" (not interested in filling out a slip for a drawing so you can call me and pester me about buying what you sell later).  Anyway, I walked by this table where a "nice" looking woman sat with some books.  I always stop when I see books.  One of the books said something about chocolate on the back so I decided to get that one.  The woman was the author, Nita Nettleton, and she was this instantly likable person that somehow felt more REAL than most people. I chatted with her a bit and then she signed my book.  She spelled out my full name and then wrote "I hope you enjoy this story - (never strand yourself without enough chocolate!) and then signed it and left her email address.  hmmmm I wonder if it is still a good email for her.  This book isn't that long but I've found myself savoring it.... just like I used to do with life-savers when I was a kid and chocolate now that I'm older.  I read a section and then I like to stop and think about it for a bit, imagining myself in her place.

This is a book about a woman that wakes up bruised and battered with a bandage around her head at a remote cabin in Alaska.  She doesn't remember anything, not her name or how she came to be out in the middle of Nowhere, Alaska.  But, she does find an unlikely friend in a young female badger and realizes she likes being there and spending time with her own thoughts.  

I can't tell you more than that because I'm still reading.  I'll probably be done with it tomorrow.

I've been feeling better since sometime yesterday.  I made myself a hair appointment for yesterday

afternoon and really hoped I would feel better by then.  I just had a two week long horrible fibro flare up that left me so tired I couldn't get out of bed most of the time.  I had decided to lose a ton of hair weight if I could get my butt out of bed to get there.  It has been WAY too hot for long, thick hair. I looked through tons of pictures and printed out a handful of similar cuts but wasn't totally feeling any of them. I decided to show them all to my stylist and let her work her magic.  I've also been wanting to get some highlights in my hair in this electric purple color that reminds me of the innards of a blueberry.  I just needed to make sure my husband didn't freak about the cost of it so I only scheduled for a haircut.  On the way I mentioned the color to him and after I was sitting in the chair he texted me a "go ahead" message.  I was surprised when she said she could do it AND she looked totally thrilled to do it too.  I guess she doesn't get to use that color much.

It was so liberating to watch the chunks of hair fall to the floor.  This other lady came up and was sitting close to me waiting her turn for a haircut while the stylist was painting my head purple. She looked familiar but I couldn't place her. I talk to everyone though so that was okay.  I was just startled when she suddenly said my name.  I realized it was a friend of ours and I just hadn't seen her in a long time.  I haven't seen anyone in a long time unless they live with me actually. Well, she usually has really short hair so seeing her with shoulder length hair was really strange and I'm sure that is why I couldn't place her.  It was really good to talk to other people for a change and it was so fun getting my hair done. Since I was sitting there for quite a while steeping in purple I talked to everyone who came in for a haircut.  It was a good day for me.

I was really tired today (Wednesday) so I took a nice long nap but so far not having bad pain.  I'm so glad since I really needed a break from that for a while.  I really enjoyed reading outside in my chair parked in the sunshine this afternoon while Buddy played in the shade.  It is such a beautiful summer day!  I just love the days when I can get out and enjoy the beauty of my world and warmth of the sunshine.  Life is good and I'm loving my Buddy Boy!

Buddy sleeping by me on the couch

Is there such a thing as happy pain?

Yes!

I am laying down right now with ice on both feet and shoulders.  Trying to rest.

I've been in so much pain for so long now.  The pain keeps me from being able to do anything.  I can't lose weight because it hurts so bad to exercise.  Over the years it's only gotten worse.  Then in early January this year I found a new doctor.  I just felt that he was going to be able to help me some how. I think maybe because he seemed like he wanted to.  He seemed to care.  Maybe he is a younger doctor who isn't burnt out yet.  My last doctor knew I had fibromyalgia so she just said every problem I had was that and she didn't try to figure it out or if it could be something else that is treatable.  I had horrible pain in my left shoulder that was also starting to affect the left side of my neck.  It was so bad I didn't want to move.  Exercise made it worse.  The new doctor examined my shoulder and referred me to a doctor that does myofascial release therapy.

I went to the first appointment feeling a little apprehensive.  They told me it really hurts but that it would probably help in the long run.  It did really hurt.  I almost passed out the first time.  I had some bruising on my shoulder where they worked and was told to ice it and drink a lot of water.  It took longer than I expected to heal but when it did my shoulder was so much better - amazingly better. They worked on my neck pain and it was gone before I left the office.  They said that was a triggerband and I also had many triggerpoints.  The triggerpoints are herniated fascia so there is an opening and some tissue is pushing through and getting strangulated.  That is what is causing the pain.  The triggerbands, from what I understand, are a twisted muscle.  I went back today and they worked on more areas.  The doctor had a student with her and I really liked him.  He was answering my questions.  Some doctors don't want to answer my questions or give really vague answers meant to appease someone who they think can't understand.  I like to look things up on the internet afterwards and learn more about what they are doing so I want some real answers.

This time I told them about the pain in my feet.  I have been having pain in my feet for so long.  It hurts to walk or stand for very long.  I want to get out when I can and exercise so I can lose weight. During the summer I want to walk but last summer it just hurt too much.  Every step I took was painful.  I noticed the pain got worse with each consecutive day that I walked until I just couldn't do it anymore.  None of the doctor's I'd seen knew what was wrong.  The Rheumatologist x-rayed my feet and hands but didn't see anything.  Other doctors said it was probably planter fasciitis and that exercise and stretches would help it.  I already knew exercise did not help it and the stretches did nothing.  Plus, I looked it up on the internet and the pain from that is usually on the bottom of the feet or the back of the heal.  My pain is on the top and outer sides of my feet.  These new doctors worked over my feet and they knew exactly what I was talking about.  I could tell before I left that they had already helped.  Now I just have to wait for the soreness to go away to see how much it really helped. I am very optimistic.

I am laying here looking at the sunshine streaming through my window and thinking about summer. It is spring and the snow is melting.  I can't wait to see green grass and flowers in my yard.

This year is the first time in many years that I've been excited about summer.

-D

Dear Life,

This is me, trying to get back to you.

I've been so out of it for so long and I'd like to feel normal again, or even just a little bit.  The long Alaskan winter has been hard for me but the sun has been shining more and more.  I've been opening the curtains and watching my plants green up and reach for the sun.

I didn't start any seeds this year.  I was just too tired and fighting some crud that kept coming back. I'll probably buy my plants this year.  I'll take it easy though and not take on too much so I can hopefully keep up with the watering better.

The last few weeks I've been so so tired.  I just have no energy at all.  I've been taking vitamins, especially vitamin D and trying to eat healthy even when I'm too tired to make something.  I need to get back to exercising again.  I stopped when I was sick.  I think I'm going to start doing 10 minutes each day on the stationary bike and then slowly increase so I don't over do it.  I know 10 minutes seems like nothing but it is a mountain when you feel like I do.

I haven't even been reading lately.  I want to but I just can't get into anything.  I even have some new books I got from Paperbackswap.com.  I love that site!  Jared also gave me a book he wants me to read.  He remembered a fantasy book I read that I liked and he is sure I'll like this one too.  It is Inkheart.  So I really should read that one first since he really wants to know what I think of it.

My mother in law sent me an adult coloring book for my birthday and I just started using it.  I got some crayola colored pencils and markers because I didn't want to use up my Prismacolor pencils in coloring books and then have nothing to draw with.  The crayola pencils are nice too.  I found that I enjoy coloring more than I expected and it is making me want to play with different colors.  I am so thinking of drawing some more.  I haven't done any real art is so long.

Oh and I'm crocheting a pretty baby dress for someone cute and it is taking me forever.  I'm close to done though and then I want to make some baby shoes to go with it and add something to make the dress just a little unique.

Okay, time to get up and move around.

D.

Watching the Snow Fall

The last several days have been warm and the snow is melting a little.  I haven't been able to see the sun shining for a few days since we have been getting snow.  The sky looks a solid white/gray with no clear spots at all.  This afternoon the snow started to fall and we had some wind that was stirring it around so it looked like the snowflakes were dancing in the air.  I always want to take pictures of the snow falling but it just doesn't capture well so I took a video.

It wont be much longer and we will be seeing that snow melting into puddles.

Building Bridges

This is what I do.

When I think of all the things I want to do I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a giant ravine and what I want to do is on the other side.

It can be very depressing if you let it.

I've changed my thinking though.  It hasn't been that long since I got this inspiration.  I can change the way I do things, break things down into smaller projects or tasks and in the process I build a bridge to the other side and accomplish my goal.

The sun is shining and I am loving it so I'm slowly cleaning my house one wall, one window, one square of carpet at a time.  I used to chose a room or two to clean each day but now I know my limitations.  I think of what would make the biggest impact for me at the moment and do that.  When the sun was streaming in the window the other day I cleaned the window and put plants over there. That was the most I could do that day but it made a huge difference.  The next day I took it easy and rested. I have to recharge but I had one of my boys here so he helped.  I just had him move some things for me and take some bags of donations outside to be picked up.  He also cleaned up the entry way for me.

Today I'm vacuuming a little, dusting and running the vacuum because it has a hepa filter built in.

My living room looks great now so I am ready to move on to the kitchen/dining room area next.

I've been thinking about gardening a  lot lately too.  It seems warmer than usual right now and the sun is melting the snow.  The branches of the large spruce trees are full of snow that is slowly melting and dripping water.  From where I sit on the couch, looking through the trees, it looks like it is raining.  We usually have spring thaw in April and March is usually really sunny but still cold.  I think this is going to be a good year.  

I'm starting to plan how I will plant my garden outside.  My husband is going to get some wire fencing for me.  In the front yard we only put a decorative rail fence around the right side and planted grass in there since the neighbors on the left had something encroaching on our property.  That got moved before they sold it but the new neighbors don't seem to realize that half of what they thinks is their driveway is our yard.  I want to define that corner better and put up some wire fencing that I can plant vining plants up like sweet peas and scarlet runner beans.  I love how that looks.  I could also plants some other things over there but it is a bit of a slope.  The property is gradually sloped down towards the road and on the sides to allow water to run away from the house so I shouldn't really change that.  It could still be fixed up to look nicer.

I would also like to plant some sunflowers.  I'm going to look online to find a good variety to grow here with our short season.  I'll also look for tomato, beans, peas and lettuce.  There are so many things I'd like to plant but I really need to just pick a few things and focus on taking care of those.  I don't want to get in over my head.  My husband can't always help since he has to work.  My boys can help but they are usually not very willing helpers when it comes to yardwork.

We didn't even use our backyard last year since it rained so much so I'm anxious to get back there and clean up.  My boys mowed it but the trimming didn't get done like it should have.  My shrubs need to be cleaned up and pruned.  I want to set up an area for composting. I've watched Ray on the Praxxus55712 channel make compost and he makes it look like something I could do.  I even got a tub to try composting in the garage.  I got one of those tubs with the two hinged lids that meet in the middle so that lets some air get in there.  I put plant clippings in there and veggie scraps from the kitchen.  Oh, and coffee grounds.  My oldest son goes through a LOT of coffee.  I just can't wait to get out there.  Can you tell I'm chomping at the bit??

Spring Fever

The sun was out and shining beautifully today.  It is March in Fairbanks, Alaska so we will still have snow for a while.  I have definitely been bitten by the spring cleaning bug.  I decided I wanted to have more clear space in the living room so I had the boys haul off the old coffee table and an end table.  That really opened up some space and it looks nice.  There was another piece of furniture that we used to have below the front window but we moved it at Christmas time to put the tree there. Now I don't want it to come back.

Some goodies I've gotten recently

You know how on Amazon.com you can have a wish list? I have a few things on there that I've been drooling over for a long time. Now I have managed to get two of the things on there this year. I'm so spoiled loved. The first thing was my sewing machine. I had a sewing machine that was too difficult for me to figure out. I wanted something with a button that says "sew" or better yet voice activated. Whenever I feel like I can use my sewing machine I know I don't have much time before I get tired or start having pain and by the time I would get the bobbin thing opened up, the lint cleaned off of it, and new bobbin loaded and inserted into the alien looking piece of metal half circle and the thread pulled up to the top I would be exhausted and needing a nap and a pain pill. I needed something way more user friendly. I looked at several sewing machines online and thought I knew what I wanted and I knew they had the one I wanted to get here locally but when I went in there they didn't have it anymore. After I explained what I was looking for she showed me a Brother machine and I fell in love with it right away. It was better than the one I went in there looking for and it was cheaper too. My husband got it for me for an anniversary present which was September 1st. It was our 23rd anniversary! Of course I've been feeling bad ever since I got it and I haven't been able to check it out yet but it is there ready for me when I'm ready.

It is a Simplicity SB2139 and it isn't available online which is why I didn't see it.  This is only available through local brother dealers.  It came with a free pattern, which is not my size but oh well, and also comes with the sewing table thing that gives you extra sewing surface.

The other thing that has been at the top of my Amazon list is this set of Rose Tulip Etimo crochet hooks.  I wanted them so bad I could taste it (tastes just like chocolate, really).  I noticed they went on sale and mentioned it to my husband and he bought them for me.  I love them too.  They are so comfortable to use and the case is so pretty!  I never was a "girly girl" that liked pink until I turned 40.  Not sure what has happened to me.  It must be the hormones or something.

The CD I got is great too.  It is an import.  The band is called Feeder and the album is Pushing the Senses.  I first heard one of the songs from the album on the first season of Bones, which I just started watching again.  The song is called "Pain on Pain" but I really like all the songs on this album.

So anyway, I've been listening to my new music and crocheting away.  I also bought a few other songs that I heard on Bones on itunes.  For some reason that album above is not available to download which is so barbaric!  It has been so long since I had to buy a CD and wait for it to come in the mail to listen to it.  I could have recorded it off the radio onto a tape by then but of course they don't play good music on the radio anymore. Anywho, there really are some great music in that series.

I am also making a sweater for my sweet beagle Blue. She is getting pretty old and arthritic and it gets pretty cold here in the winter. She has some health problems that make her belly distended so I'm adjusting the pattern to fit her. I hope she likes it.

It is a pretty, sunny day outside today and I'm hoping to get out in it since I'm feeling a little better.  I think I need a new fish in my fish tank and want to make a trip to Petco.