Is there such a thing as happy pain?

Yes!

I am laying down right now with ice on both feet and shoulders.  Trying to rest.

I've been in so much pain for so long now.  The pain keeps me from being able to do anything.  I can't lose weight because it hurts so bad to exercise.  Over the years it's only gotten worse.  Then in early January this year I found a new doctor.  I just felt that he was going to be able to help me some how. I think maybe because he seemed like he wanted to.  He seemed to care.  Maybe he is a younger doctor who isn't burnt out yet.  My last doctor knew I had fibromyalgia so she just said every problem I had was that and she didn't try to figure it out or if it could be something else that is treatable.  I had horrible pain in my left shoulder that was also starting to affect the left side of my neck.  It was so bad I didn't want to move.  Exercise made it worse.  The new doctor examined my shoulder and referred me to a doctor that does myofascial release therapy.

I went to the first appointment feeling a little apprehensive.  They told me it really hurts but that it would probably help in the long run.  It did really hurt.  I almost passed out the first time.  I had some bruising on my shoulder where they worked and was told to ice it and drink a lot of water.  It took longer than I expected to heal but when it did my shoulder was so much better - amazingly better. They worked on my neck pain and it was gone before I left the office.  They said that was a triggerband and I also had many triggerpoints.  The triggerpoints are herniated fascia so there is an opening and some tissue is pushing through and getting strangulated.  That is what is causing the pain.  The triggerbands, from what I understand, are a twisted muscle.  I went back today and they worked on more areas.  The doctor had a student with her and I really liked him.  He was answering my questions.  Some doctors don't want to answer my questions or give really vague answers meant to appease someone who they think can't understand.  I like to look things up on the internet afterwards and learn more about what they are doing so I want some real answers.

This time I told them about the pain in my feet.  I have been having pain in my feet for so long.  It hurts to walk or stand for very long.  I want to get out when I can and exercise so I can lose weight. During the summer I want to walk but last summer it just hurt too much.  Every step I took was painful.  I noticed the pain got worse with each consecutive day that I walked until I just couldn't do it anymore.  None of the doctor's I'd seen knew what was wrong.  The Rheumatologist x-rayed my feet and hands but didn't see anything.  Other doctors said it was probably planter fasciitis and that exercise and stretches would help it.  I already knew exercise did not help it and the stretches did nothing.  Plus, I looked it up on the internet and the pain from that is usually on the bottom of the feet or the back of the heal.  My pain is on the top and outer sides of my feet.  These new doctors worked over my feet and they knew exactly what I was talking about.  I could tell before I left that they had already helped.  Now I just have to wait for the soreness to go away to see how much it really helped. I am very optimistic.

I am laying here looking at the sunshine streaming through my window and thinking about summer. It is spring and the snow is melting.  I can't wait to see green grass and flowers in my yard.

This year is the first time in many years that I've been excited about summer.

-D

Happy Post Halloween

I'm so glad that Halloween is finally over.  I used to enjoy handing out candy to the cute little monsters that come to my house but since I've been feeling bad most of the time I have come to dread it.  We mostly get the really young kiddos here, especially since I never put up really scary things, and by 9 pm everyone is usually heading home.  I had a migraine today and ended up staying in bed all day.  I didn't even look to see if I recognized any cute little kids.  We usually get a few that come to say hi to me.  Son #2 stayed out in the living room and tried to get to the door before anyone knocked or rang the doorbell because our beagle Blue goes ballistic and barks like mad.  She is old and barks at the slightest sound now and it really scares the little kiddos so Son #1 keeps her shut up in his room until after 9 pm.

Speaking of Blue the crazy mad beagle monster, I think it is pretty ironic that I'm just randomly started Bones from the beginning again and just happened to get to episode 5 of Season 3 on Halloween Night, and it is a Halloween episode.  This song was on that episode and I actually recognize it.  I think it was on a Halloween CD I bought for the boys when they were young and still cute.

Anyway, after a while I decided to get my butt up and make something for everyone to eat but I couldn't stand to walk on my feet.  I decided to try what the doctor suggested sort of...  she isn't very clear really and makes me feel like a kindergartner again back in school getting snarked at by the teachers who didn't want to bother paying attention.  This doctor is very snarky and I don't like her much.  I have to go in at regular intervals to get my meds refilled and I tell her how I've been doing (which is always bad) and she just blows it off as nothing.  She looks in all the holes in my head and listens to me breathe and writes down that I am stable or improving.  Anyway, I've been complaining about this pain in my feet for a long time.  She always just told me to walk more even though I told her it hurt to much to walk. Finally, the last time I saw her she said to get some tennis shoes with arch support.  My husband was there that time and told her I rarely go outside so I never really wear shoes. She had no reply so that was it. Well today I decided to pull out a pair of tennis shoes I used to wear and clean them up to wear inside only.  I put gel insoles with arch supports in them (which I robbed from my boots) and I've been wearing them for a few hours.  I made another quiche and it seems they do help.  I was able to make the whole thing and clean up without having to ask for help.  I am pretty excited that this is helping because I'm really tired of being stuck sitting down. Being able to be on my feet more will also allow me to get more exercise.  I'll start on that tomorrow.  For now, my dog is very happy to see me so I need to go spend some time with her.

Here is a song from Episode 1 of Bones Season 3

I like this song.  Now that I have these shoes that help my feet I want to get up and do things. I may not be able to "see the world" but being able to do anything makes me feel better.