Feeling a little better

I have been dealing with some depression lately.  I felt like I'd fallen into a dark hole.  I know many people don't really understand depression and usually assume the person who is depressed feels sad.  It isn't always like that.  For me at least, it is more like a "suppression" of emotions.  I feel switched off.  I didn't feel sad, I felt nothing.  I didn't feel like doing any of the things I usually enjoy.  I deal with a lot of chronic pain and I use crafting and reading to get through the difficult times but for a while now I haven't felt like reading.  That is very unusual for me.  I usually read at least 4 books a month and never go anywhere without a book in my purse.  In both August and September I only read one book and it was a challenge to get through that one book in the month.  This month it is already the 12th and I've only read one chapter of a book.  I have been enjoying my newest hobby, cross stitching, but when I finished my last project I didn't feel like starting anything new.  The only thing I felt like doing was watching TV and that is unusual for me.  I've never been a big TV watcher since I prefer reading. 

Well, I have been trying desperately to find a way to get out of this funk.  I thought about making a doctor appointment but I wanted to try a few things first.  I started taking Vitamin D3 and that may have helped a little bit.  Another thing I like to do when I feel this way is make something to donate.  If I can crochet or knit something that can help someone else, that gives me something to focus on and also helps me to feel better.  Helping others always helps me to feel better.  I have a blanket I was working on in the spring to donate to a retirement home and I could pick that back up but I wasn't feeling it.  Then I saw some videos on youtube by Caroline of  Off the Grid Needlearts.  She decided to teach a friend to knit and put together some instructional videos.  One of the patterns she used was for a hat.  I knit the hat and found that I really enjoyed it.  I decided to make a bunch of these warm hats to donate to the ER for those people who come in without proper winter gear.  Here in Alaska we get very cold weather in the winter and there are a lot of homeless people who get frostbite.  Often they don't even have socks, let alone warm winter gear.  I am making them these hats with worsted weight Lion Brand Wool-Ease yarn because it is a Wool/Acrylic blend.  That yarn is warmer but doesn't require any special care.  I have two hats completed and have started another one.  I feel like this is doing me a lot of good and hope that I will eventually start feeling like my normal self again. 

My oldest son Jared modeling my 1st hat

My younger son Riley modeling my 2nd hat

My younger son Riley has a larger head and the first hat didn't fit him.  I was able to adjust the pattern to make a larger hat that did fit.  I'll make some of both sizes to donate.  There is also a mitten pattern and I think I'll try those next. 

Color Moods

Is it just me?

I seem to go through these periods of time where I just love one certain color or color combo and nothing else.  When I was really little I remember I decided I liked sky blue.  I remember getting made fun of in kindergarten because all the other girls like pink and purple and they said blue was a boy color.  I still remember talking to my mom because I was so upset.  I liked blue and only blue for a very long time.  When I was a teenager I started to like Royal blue and I remember I had this big royal blue velvet curtain that I had tacked up across the room to separate my room from the boy part of the room.  It became my little cave/sanctuary.  It wasn't until I was already into my 40's before I started to like different colors.  I went through a phase where I loved fuchsia.  I still do but my obsession petered out and I feel in love with lavender.  Then it became lavender and sage green.... and then this past year I added sky blue and cream to those colors. Slowly but surely, everything in my bedroom started to change to those colors.  My bedding is purple/lavender  and the other stuff in the room is a combo of lavender, blue, green and cream.  I even made a crochet throw in those colors.  I'm so glad I finally made something for myself.

Well, the last few months I've noticed I've been crazy about gray.  Mainly a light or medium toned gray.  I made a friend a baby blanket in gray and pink and I just loved it.  I bought some more of the gray yarn and some in sky blue and I'm going to alter the pattern to make a shawl for myself.  I have some pretty snowflakes someone made for me that I'm going to add to the two front corners.  The gray has a pretty pearl type thread in it and with the pale blue for the edging the snowflakes will be a perfect addition.  It will be like my "Frozen" shawl.  I do have to say that I've always liked snowflake themed things way before "Frozen".

Just last month I made a skull scarf for my sister in law in
gray and it turned out very cool also.  I just love that yarn I used for this.  It is Caron Simply Soft in Gray Heather and I had quite a stack of it.

It is happening already though...  I can feel it like I saw a full moon and can feel hair sprouting out of my face and hands.

I feel a green and white phase happening.  I am sitting here with a large tub full of all of my white/off white yarns and another full of all my greens.  Every time I see someone post something that is green/white I just fall in love with it.

I have a design I sketched out in my design journal where I was trying to remember a quilt I saw.  I loved the design but wasn't so thrilled with the colors they used.  It was all just small squares so I used graph paper to draw it out as close as I could remember.  Now I think I might use all this green and white/cream yarn and make a bazillion squares for it.  Hopefully it will come together looking just as amazing as it does in my imagination.

Stuck on the Couch

Since the temperature has dropped and the landscape has become whiter I've been having a lot more pain, especially in my feet and my shoulders.  The meds do help somewhat  except for my feet.  I just want to sit on the couch and never stand up unless absolutely necessary.  This could be my new diet plan.  Anyway, I'm pretty set here.  I've got my husband's wool socks on, my laptop and I've been watching episodes of Bones season 2 and looking up the music from the shows and crocheting like a mad woman.

I can't really think straight so I just made up a pattern for these little wash cloths.  I like them to be about the size of my hand and to have some texture but still look nice.  They come out to about 5" square before washing so just a little bigger than a sponge.  I am making them color coded so I know which ones are for which purpose.  I'm using this green and white cotton yarn to make cloths for cleaning in the kitchen and I'll choose a different color for cleaning in the bathrooms.  I made some with some peach and natural colors for my face cloths.  I'll make some in blues for the boys face cloths etc.

I'm addicted to this show.  I read this story in the news about a man that was killing women and leaving them in abandoned buildings and right away I was thinking about Bones and wished I could watch that episode.

Anyway, these songs are from Episode 9 - Aliens in a Spaceship.  

Next to You by Tim Easton

This song which says it is by Bob Gentry was apparently produced by him but not sang by him.... unless Bob has a very high pitched voice.  This youtube video says "Amie" so maybe that is who the singer is.  It is called Never Know.  This song was playing on the radio when Brennan and Hodgins woke up to find themselves buried alive in a car (at the start of the show).  It is such a pretty song but they somehow made it sound eerie with it getting fuzzy and breaking up.  Of course, it then goes back to explain how they got there and what happened after.

 

From Episode 14

Tears and Laughter by Jonathan Czerwik

It was very interesting listening to son #2's opinion on what this song is about.  I'm very literal and he is very philosophical.  He tells me I have to think deeper to get to the true meaning.  

 

From Episode 15

The Secret Sun by Jesse Harris

Fault Line by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Starting fresh

I decided to start a new blog. My other blog had gotten so dusty and depressing. I decided it was time to make a change, rearrange the furniture and rethink my purpose for blogging. I decided I didn't want my blog to be about how I was feeling. I feel pretty bad pretty much all the time so this blog is going to be about things I do, see, read, hear, etc. I'll write about what makes me happy like getting the most scrumptious yarn from an awesome friend in Australia and finally getting the crochet hook set that I had been coveting forever for an early birthday present. I also got a new CD by a band I just learned about when I decided to rewatch the first season of Bones. Oh, and I recently made a few new friends that bring joy to my life through my computer. I will be back to write more about these things later but for now I wanted to get the curtains back up and air out this new blog.